Sarah in the Suburbs

Walt Disney World, Part 1

by Sarah

I’m at the beach this week, so I’m taking the easy way out! Pretty photos for you to look at, all week long! Weeee!

I realized, after 2 months away, that I never got around to talking about our latest trip to “the world” (aka Walt Disney World, but, come on, it’s much cooler when you just say it the way I said it), but I’ve talked about WDW so much here before (and I write about it at least once a week over here), that I thought I would just post pictures of our fun and you could guess what we did. Sound good? Great. Not that it really matters anyway, cause I’m at the beach suckas!

Enjoy!

PS If you have a question for me or want to know more about the photos, leave me a comment or email me: SarahInTheSuburbs@gmail.com

Kids Say the Darnedest Things, Part 1

by Sarah

My kids are great. They really are. I love them to pieces. But, as any parent of a pre-schooler knows (and yes, I am saying pre-school even though they aren’t in school….toddler sounds much too young for what they are right now) your kids will eventually say something completely, utterly embarrassing in public. Often, this will happen sooner rather than later. For me, it was already happening, but it had not been as loud or about as sensitive of a subject as it was the other day.

Let me set the scene for you.

Picture me and two 3 year olds walking into Hobby Lobby. As soon as we enter, “Ok, everyone keep your hands to yourself. NO running, NO touching, and NO screaming. Got it?” “Yes mommy.” immediately following by the reaching for the first breakable thing and me saying, “DO. NOT. TOUCH. Did you not hear me the first time?” followed by sheepish grins and hands immediately down to their sides.

Sidenote: WHY, Hobby Lobby, WHY must you put all your ceramics/breakables front and center in your store?? Can’t you put them off to the side in the store?? You are just asking for it when a mom has to go in there with young children. Asking. For it. I digress.

So we’ve avoided the mine field of ceramics and have now moved on to the back of the store where the real crafty stuff is. As with every Hobby Lobby (and Target and WalMart and…well you get the idea), nothing is where I am used to seeing it because this particular Hobby Lobby has a completely different layout than the one I usually go to, so it takes me some time to find what I need.

Additional sidenote: Hobby Lobby, if you would just tell all your stores to put their stuff in the same place in every store, this would dramatically decrease the chance that my children would get bored with our journey and start grabbing at random things on the shelf, opening them, leaving them on a different shelf, or taking them to a completely different aisle entirely. If I could zip in and zip out, it would be better for everyone in the store. Trust. Me.

Still with me? I tend to get sidetracked when I write…anyways, so my kids are bored, they are wandering, and I’m still trying to get to my item I need when I hear Caroline shout (yes, this was SHOUTED) from behind me, “Hey mama, that lady has a big ol’ hiney.”

Um. WHAT.

Momentary panic. Followed by an urge to laugh inappropriately (the lady, did in fact, have a big ol’ hiney). Followed by the mortification that the lady actually heard Caroline (she had to have, right? I mean, it was SHOUTED, not said in a normal volume. At all.) and now I was going to have to grow-up and parent this situation. Good grief.

I grab Caroline’s hand and swing her around to the next aisle. “Sweetie, we don’t say things like that about people.” “Why not?” “Well, it’s not a very nice thing to say.” “Why not?” “Because it isn’t nice.” “But, but, she did have -” “Caroline, we do not say things like that about people. Ever. The end.” (exaggerated sigh) “Oh alright.”

Yes. My three year old is smarter than me and gets me so flustered I use the age-old parenting ultimatum: Because I said so. That’s why.

Ugh. I hated that phrase as a kid. Hated. It. What does that even mean?? “Because I said so.” Harumph. My sweet Caroline (yes, she actually was named for the Neil Diamond song), bless her. She is so stinkin’ smart it kills me sometimes. I was totally embarrassed, but I wanted to laugh at the same time. I’m a terrible person I know. But, hey, I did the right thing, parent-wise, right? I taught my kid to respect another human being by not pointing and laughing. I get two points for that, right?

Anyway, so after we exited the store and I texted Neil my hilariously embarrassing story, I thought to myself, “Where on earth did she learn about “big ol’ hineys” anyway? Was it me?” If there is any additional lesson to be learned from this, besides the lesson that your kids are inevitably going to embarrass you so just brace yourselves, it’s that if you have a real perceptive kid who soaks up life like a sponge, you absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, have to watch what you say.

Anything you say or do will be held against you. It may not be today or tomorrow or even later this week, but it will come back to haunt you eventually.

Life with my kids is never a dull moment.

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